I was staring up at the moon and stars, sitting atop the roof of the tallest tower in Caemlyn. Yet somehow, there was a giant animal watching me from the moon. No animal could be that large. and it was laughing and grinning as it kept its head laying upon its front paws.
My name will be Aruon Ruthor, which I was given by someone many years before today. I'm tall, with dark hair and a good pair of eyes and ears. Today I stand in the ranks of the Warder Students; which would have been an odd place to me many years ago. I am older than I look, and not everyone agrees with me, but I hold no grudges or dislike for anyone so long as they serve purposes of the Light. I've known men that were Darkfriends, and I don't wish to find another. Killing a human is not something I like.
As I sat up in my bed, my sword kept within reaching distance from the bed, I could faintly hear the sounds of a storm outside the window. It was just rain, and would probably put me back to sleep soon enough. Yet before long, it caught the rhythm of an early morning storm. I always liked the rain, it's beats and look always bring me comfort. But, also....
There was rain that day too, when I ran from our small village within a days ride to Bandar Eban. I ran without any idea where I was going, or where I was going to end up. I could have found the Blight without seeing another human, but instead...they were there. Their eyes watched me all the time, until finally I passed into what I would learn was Andoran soil.
It rained again as I stood on top of the tree abode, one of the few Sei'avende that still walked the wooden platforms our of forest home. Their eyes were there too, keeping us in check. I stood, looking out at the forests of Braem and imagining the going-ons in the world. A world I had chosen to leave behind because I was invited to this place, this world of forests and solitude, by the only friend I had made. But even when it was raining, I knew they were all gone for good. I had been left behind.
Slowly, I made my way back toward the outskirts and villages. Caemlyn was imposing to me; it's walls and worse, the crowds. Yet I was so terribly lonely, and more curious than anxious. A part of me wanted to see my older sister who had gone to Caemlyn years before, another part wanted to see Tar Valon and find my younger sister. But I again just wandered.
I stood among the crowds, occasionally getting glances from passerby and peddlers. The city was not my home, yet it was a temporary hiding spot from my own choices--my own change in the world.
There I was, trying to stop the bleeding in my side, as I realized how meager my talents and skills were. Terrible men had tossed my attempts aside like I had been a common house pest. I hated it, I hated my own weakness, and I hated that I was petty enough to worry so much about my faults. But there I was, powerless to stop my own thoughts, and too weak to protect the people I cared about.
At first, I tried to live the life of a giver. I aided anyone who needed it, and gave them whatever they needed: Be it food, shelter, aid, advice, clothes or weapons. My place in the world was there, yet it was also not enough. There was an animal nature to me now, and I could not sit and wait for others to leave me behind again.
One last time, I felt the rain crawling down my cloak and dash my cheeks as I stood before the gates to Tar Valon. A sword that could protect people: That's all I wanted. I lowered my cloak, and let the rain overcome me. It also hid the tears that tried to ebb down my face.
I would train and fight until I could save lives and have a heart worthy of wielding a sword. I would fight until, most likely, I died; Or I would fight until that emptiness was finally filled. The void in my heart could only be filled by friends, but I would be as true to the world as I could until I found the respect I had been so long without; until I had broken down the walls that surrounded my soul and be a man worthy of my father's recognition.
As the rain stopped that last time, I knew I would never look back or hate the people that had left me to be alone for so long.
Aruon Ruthor
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