Sacrifice as Cultivation

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rosalind
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Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 10:01 pm

Sacrifice as Cultivation

Post by rosalind »

On service and sacrifice

An Essay by Novice Rosalind at the behest of Triss Goldenthorn, Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah.

Upon joining the white tower, One is placed into what are commonly called novice whites. These whites, referring to the white shift and skirts worn by new initiates, present at first an affront to many: they are unattractive, an important point that will be revisited later; these shapeless garments immediately signify to all that their wearer is at the lowest end of any power dynamic. As a Novice acquires the rigor necessary for daily life, these qualities are forgotten. They become normal.

It would be easy, then, to mistake this sublimation of conscious vanity into productive indifference as sacrifice. And yet it is not. Real sacrifice, as I define the concept for the scope of this essay, are conscious decisions that cannot be forgotten. They cannot be forgotten because their purpose is to make room for personal growth. To become something different.

The most simple, and therefore the least valuable, of sacrifices are preconceived notions. After all, one often gains friends or allies when one sacrifices beliefs about others that are false and harmful.

There are levels. A young woman assuming Novice whites does not dislike them instinctively because all she cares about are Domani fashions. She is a person, first and foremost, and she comes from a culture all her own. We are taught as young women to care about dresses because quite often, marriage may be our only chance at class advancement, as Moria Aes Sedai covers in her lessons. There is a deeper sacrifice being made: setting aside values from an old life to make room for a new life.

This not only serves to allow personal growth. It is necessary also to adopt as one's own the vast assembly of laws, rules, and traditions of the White Tower.

The most difficult sacrifices that are made for the chance to become Aes Sedai are those, I suspect, that have no return. I have served many Aes Sedai as they greet petitioners and other, similar duties to which a mere Novice is privy. The slow elimination of personal interest runs parallel to this notion, advancing the previously-mentioned idea that sacrifice is necessary to make room for growth.

Although brief, I wanted to demonstrate that sacrifice is like cutting onions: you peel away a layer, ignore the tears, and continue to task because that may be the service required.

As for myself, my greatest sacrifice was family. I was blessed with parents who wanted me to attend the White Tower, albeit no one really thought as anything other than a scribe. I do not miss them, because in the room I made, other people have become family. That, I did not expect.
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